Slaying Hallway Zombies

For the past few months, I have been working on a project for a division of Boeing. It was a bit of a culture shock, going from a small, dynamic, family feeling company like Contegix to one of the largest companies in the world. But it's a Grails project, and the prospect of helping all of those oppressed Boeing Java devs get into Grails is well worth the cross-cultural experience. :-)

So, what does that have to do with zombies? Well, when working for a huge company, one often ends up in a huge building. And in huge buildings, we often find very long hallways. The building I work in has hallways that are several hundred feet long (almost 150 meters). Something strange happens to (otherwise friendly) people when they walk down long hallways. They become hallway zombies. Hallway zombies aren't like other zombies — they aren't decaying (usually), and they don't try eat your brains. But if you’re not careful, they will rob your joy. There’s something unnatural about walking directly past another person and not even acknowledging that they exist. But if you don’t fight it, it will start to become natural to you. And then you will have become a hallway zombie yourself!

Hallway zombies can be defeated, though, and fortunately you don't even have to decapitate them. (How would that look on a reference letter?) Some hallway zombies can be defeated with a simple smile. Some may take repeated smiles. The first smiles may seem to bounce right off of them, but if you keep it up, you will start to break through. Others are tougher and may require more drastic action, such as a full round-house “Good morning!”

Those are the basic weapons for fighting hallway zombies — and fight you must, or your fate is sealed. But these weapons are much more effective with a good technique. If you spot a hallway zombie coming towards you a couple hundred feet away and you start smiling at them right away, they will be able to defend against it. It's best to catch them by surprise. Let them think you’re one of them. Look straight ahead, or down at the floor. (Don't be tempted to take furtive glances into open office doors or down a row of cubicles. That's a dead give-away.) Then, when you are within 15 to 20 feet of passing, strike quickly with your best smile and even a nod of the head. If you're pulling out the big guns, you can start a bit sooner, just in case you see an opening for a “How’s it going?” to follow up on your “Good morning!”

I’m not yet convinced that any hallway zombie is beyond reach, but there are a few here that are proving quite challenging. I’m working on some new attack strategies, just in case. On the other hand, there have been some successes that are quite encouraging. Slaying hallway zombies is hard work, but it’s very rewarding. So I keep fighting.

You may not work in this type of environment, but chances are that you will find yourself somewhere, at some point in time, where you are faced with a hallway zombie. Don’t panic. Steady your nerves, hold your ground, and… Smile!

Linux Journal Readers Choice Awards

Well the votes are in and Groovy didn't get enough votes to get mentioned in the Linux Journal's Readers Choice awards.  The winner for favorite programming language was Python and favorite scripting language was bash (go figure :)  But I know that many Groovy users registered their votes in the "other" category so I wouldn't be surprised if next year we're at least on the list.  In fact as evidence that a write in one year can do well the following year, I am thrilled to announce that Contegix won the Readers Choice Award for Favorite Linux Friendly Web Hosting Company!  A quote from the article: "Talk about a meteoric rise, Contegix went from one write-in vote in 2008 to champion of the Favorite Linux-Friendly Web Hosting Company category in 2009."   

Since I have only been working for Contegix since last October, I don't feel like I can take any credit for this big win, but I am still thrilled because I can see how much they deserved it.  I have never worked with a more dedicated and sharp team of technologists.  It is an honor to be among them and I hope I can do my part to help win this award again next year.

But back to Groovy, the key point here is that last year Contegix was just a write in!  This year Groovy was just a write in...  Just wait till next year!   In the meantime, thank you to all you who voted for Groovy and for Contegix!